D-day turns fine.

surprisingly, the P.T.S (parents-teachers-students) day turns out fine to me. Before the "meeting" between my parents, the teacher and I, I actually felt kinda nervous and was pretty afraid that the teacher might tell my parents that I've gotten 3 borang salah laku ; 1 in form 2 and the other 2 that i've gotten happened this year. I ain't that rebellious, seriously. :D this is what happened roughly :

teacher* to mom : pui ying, dia punya results okay, secara keseluruhannya, mempunyai 5 A, tapi yang belakang itu B dan C, tak cantik lah.
*I smiled*
mom* to teacher : oh, *looks at the subjects which are graded Bs and Cs* all the science subjects get 50+.
*I cringed*
teacher* to mom : sebenarnya, dia boleh improve. mesti study dengan lebih bersungguh-sungguh.
mom* to me : do you know that you're in a pure science class ? and all your science subjects have bad results.
*I cringed more*
mom* to teacher : what abt her attitude in class?
*bites lips*
teacher* to mom : dia punya kelakuan, baikkk. Di dalam kelas memberi perhatian kepada pelajaran.
* in my heart " phew, thank god " *
mom* to teacher : homework semua siap?
*bites lips again*
teacher* to mom : ada ada, semua siap.
*in my heart " i love you teacher, i didn't hand in homework and you said i did " and smiled*
teacher* to me : pui ying, kenapa add maths lagi tinggi daripada maths? maths sepatutnya lebih senang.
me* to teacher : i don't know. =D

and after that said thank you and bye bye. x]

thank you teacher for telling my parents that i have a good attitude and i handed in all my work. which is not true by the way. :)

okay, i'm going off to One U soon, which is very difficult for me to get my lazy butt off the seat. toodles.

seeing him online and wanting to say hi, unfortunately, i failed for the umpteenth time. why am i such a failure in so many things? the only thing i have not failed is being emo. i even fail to sleep early, fail to wake up early, fail to eat dinner at the right time, fail to go up to him and tell him sorry, fail my exams and yadah yadah.

it seems so difficult looking him under the online status and not talk to him. seriously, i wonder if he ever thinks the same as me : coming up to me to apologise. maybe things will not go so bad if i had been keeping my cool down. but then again, if only he had think before he had spoken to me. Quote from ying si ; words can cut where knives can't.

`all i can say is, i love you.

` Happy Sweet Sixteen Freida,

my long lost friend. :)

flunked history and not surprised. :) tomorrow is parents-teachers-students day, a.k.a D-day for me. just hope that the teacher won't start telling my parents things like " oh, your daughter, she has brought a great big disgrace to Alpha. she has not been handing in any of her homework since april and is always missing from class. I guess this is the reason why she has very wonderfuck results for the mid term exams. "

now, mind you, i'm a lazy bump, i can't study due to problems that are still remain unsolved, with no motivation, no direction, and again, i'm lazy. :) having piano class later and my nails are long. i need a manicure and pedicure session. and tonight is the finals for " So, you think you can dance? " competition. remind me to watch it, somebody. x]

` letting go ain't the hardest part ; but looking at the one you love has moved on kills.

i ain't studying. no motivation. sigh.
nights people. :)

history.

it's already 10 p.m. and i'm still here procrastinating. i guess it's just in the blood. 2 chapters of history = strong weapons of killing a young naive student like me.

according to my analysis, i have found a number of reasons on why should we learn history in school.

a. to make sure the students lead miserable lives during their schooling times.

b. to fill our past time by learning the history of yadah yadah.
c. to ensure that students will fall sick after reading the textbook.
d. to enlarge the size of the students' eyebags.
e. to get darker circles around the eyes.

i still don't get the point on why we should bother about the past. not like we are going to use it as a topic in a conversation when people start keeping quiet. seriously, we won't suddenly ask them this when there's dead silence, " Do you know that Firaun Hetshepsut ( i.d.k. how to spell her name ) is actually a woman who did this and that? " it's just, ridiculous.

in conclusion, i have procrastinated for another 20 minutes and really should start studying right now before *coughs*theteacherstartscryingtomeandbegmetogetanAforthisstupidexam*coughs*. :)

lastly, my blood type : procrastination and sarcasm. :)

what a day.

there was a mini edu fair in my school today, 20 colleges i think. went around asking about aesthetician & hotel management courses. the legend college is so tempting. so is limkokwing university. x] but the fees are so expensive that i can die.

went to tuition and practically procrastinated again. looking around, knowing that he will not be there anymore kinda hurts. okay, enough of him. sheesh, i'm having a stupid brain. take him out of my mind, somebody. :)

ohhhhhh, and tomorrow! got some stupid perfect score exams and guess what's the subject? HISTORY. i'm just going to fuck that paper up. as usual. sighs. screw the principal who keeps thinking about academy only.

` and she's back at square one ; where there's no more happily ever afters.

tagged #1.

i just realised that i got tagged by pui yan. x]

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
` how to be a champ, on and off the field? Easy. Just show these off like a pro! - from magazine.

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
` the air. =)

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
` tree on heaven.

If you're given a chance, name 5 person whom you wish to meet and talk to?
` him.
` ' SF.
` my late greatgrandma.
` my late grandma.
` G gang.

Without looking, guess what time it is:
` 6.00 p.m.

Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
` 6.00 p.m. - pui yan, mine also tepat. =D

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
` the fan's movement.

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
` this morning, 7.00 a.m. for school. x]

Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
` pui yan's blog.

What are you wearing?
` school PE pants and UBS t-shirt. xD

Did you dream last night?
` yes, and i think it has something to do with him.

When did you last laugh?
` today, in school with aileen. Because of that stupid bench which is superbly heavy and the both of us got to carry it. I don't know why i laughed though. x]

What are on the walls you are in?
` ikea heart-shaped lamp.
` winnie the pooh sandart.
` a potrait of me and my sister.
` a rack with trophies.
` a mirror.

Seen anything weird lately?
` yes, huey shan in specs. lol! and she claims to be blind, when her eyesight power is way lower than mine. =x

What do you think of this quiz?
` boring? but then again, i'm bored, therefore, it's okay to do the tag.

What is the last film you saw?
` men in white, with him. now, if only things last.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you do or buy?
` a semi-D.
` a new handphone.
` new clothes.
` new bags.
` go Singapore/ Australia to study.
` save it in the bank. xD

Tell me something about you that I don't know.
` I want to be famous wtf. xD

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
` i wish i can turn back time just to rearrange my own messed up life and continue living in a happy condition.

George Bush
` he was an ex cheerleader. =)

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
` Bianca.

Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
` Brandon.

You ever consider living abroad?
` yes! because i can't stand living in this country anymore.

What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
`" you have met too many kind of mean bitches, therefore, you will be sent to heaven which is full of good people, just like you. " LOL.

Tag 5 people who must also do this in THEIR journal.
` huey shan.
` alex.
` edwin.
` jun kiat.
` hon weng.

*add on*

ALSIE CHIANG CHOOI MUN.
see? i remember your full name. :)
this is a special announcement from me to the blog :

she is another wonderful friend of mine, the one who doesn't believe that time heals. Another friend that I've known since 5? all those good old days with barbies and toys 'r' us, buffets and shopping! yes, we were still young and studying in a primary school. vain people ; we are. hell yeah, i miss the past. i don't wanna grow up. =) and you know what woman? no matter you're thin or fat, quiet or hyper, happy or emo, remember this ; you will always be my friend till the end of the world. and when will we catch up with each other's lives again? tell me okay? this time, we will make it. x]

school.

Do you believe in horoscopes? I used to not read them at all, but the friendster's horoscope on my sign is pretty true, at times. So, should I continue reading it? anyway, just got home not too long ago. had to stayback for UBS stuff as there will be an education fair tomorrow in my school. It was pretty fun arranging tables and chairs for more than an hour. At least, i got to sweat. x] Skipped physics class with huey shan for nothing, and we talked for the whole two periods. Maths was as usual, boring whenever I see the teacher so, couldn't care less about it. luckily she only gave us work, but then again, i failed to do them. yeah, i'm a lazy bump. so? =) PJ was normal and BM, went to the library. When the teacher was teaching halfway and then decided to tell the whole class a story, i slept till the bell rings. x] i can't help it, the air-conded room is too tempting.

been doing some thinking in school :
- Should I join cheer for next year?
- What will happen if one day i see him with another girl?
- Are my parents going to be furious looking at my results?
- What is going to happen to me if I decided to walk blindly at the streets?

okay, cut the crap, i'm just not myself. People talking in front, my mind's playing tricks with me behind. Focus py, focus! On my way home, as i looked out the window, i started to feel worried about reaching home. Everytime, when I come home, I would receive smses. but not anymore. Is this the main reason to all the anxiety? *sighs dramatically*

note to self : if someday, i ever kill myself because of whatsoever reason, this will prove that i'm stupid and i will not go to heaven. =)

silent cries.

it's already 12.30 am, and here i am, sitting in front of the computer, wanting to do the brochure, but failed miserably. if things had been better, will i still be sitting here? or will i be chatting with him till he goes to bed? deep inside, i'm feeling lost and god knows why am i being such an idiot who is being really blind. those memories keep playing like a film without sound.

again, if only we're still together, i might have sent him a short message saying a simple goodnight wish. unfortunately, we're not. therefore, i shall wish him silently, in this blog of mine, "goodnight." meanwhile, need to get back to my work, before Pn. Lee gives me a pink slip. nights everyone, nights.

`i live in a planet called reality, where happily ever afters don't exist.

bad experiences ; great friends.

this shall be my second blog. =) to be honest, living in my own world is not nice. you can only dream what you don't have. yes, i'm a dreamer, who isn't? and today, it's not just like the days i used to have. being in a relationship with so many ups and downs, with so many problems to solve and still wishing things will continue to happen is not easy.

love is not beautiful ; without commitments, without trust, without the somebody you truly love. and hell, i'm broken inside. sometimes i would just wish to cross my heart and hope to die. but looking back, i realised i have many great friends to support me. therefore, i shall now thank them for letting me know that they have always been there for me.

-huey- : my deskmate, listening to me ranting is not nice huh? but again, you beared with my problems. thanks a lot for being a great listener. and you know, i'm proud to have you as my best buddy.
[mei li] : my camwhoring partner, i must say, you're the one who can understand how i feel better, if you know what i mean. and this year has not been a good year for anyone of us. but you know what? we will remain best friends. =)

melissa! : my darling, the one who will be the most violent person when there's something wrong. but then, we are equally the same, vulgarity is part of our lives ; deal with it. thanks for being so straightforward if you remember, and again, we will always be the best partner in crime.

ying si : my tuition mate, the girl who keeps listening to my problems, and is pretty sick of it. LOL. yea, but again, she's a good listener. appreciated every lil thing you've done when i'm down. =)

aileen : friends since standard 1, and still close to each other. true, she might get her pms very often, but a great friend to me, seriously. and yes, we call each other bitches. x]

there are many more people. but i just don't think i can list them all out. but i must say, a million thank you to these people for brightening my life up :

1. the G gang. =)

2. alex cheah wei hong - babi botak. =p

3. yeoh hui ning - british accent. xD

4. lim wai yuen.

5. ng beverly.

6. him - but i guess that's that. =)

7. and my parents - supportive people, at times.

and that's the end of my first post. =)

*when things fell apart, you were there to catch me from falling.