OMGWTF2000.

I am super ganjeong (panic) now. My first assignment is due next Tuesday and I haven't start on anything at all. It's a 2,000 word essay. How am I going to ever manage it homaigawd. And I've been procrastinating for weeks WTF. I need to stop being such a procrastinator, always regretting that I never start my work early and end up still do last minute work. Oh god, why? :(

So I'm left with 4 days to do my assignment since.. I'm going to shop the whole day tomorrow at Cheshire Oaks. And I still got time to blog now haha really FML.

Kthanksbai.

Empty.

distant ; gaps in between.

Please, fill the spaces. Prove it.

ze blogger has no motivation to study. 3 more days left.

*faints*

Boo You.

My Sem 2 is ending soon in a blink of an eye. We're all left with exams to be exact and will start on the 14th. No, not 14th February. It's 14th January, which means next Thursday is my first paper.











And I thought I still have two weeks before my first paper till just now WTF. All I did for the past few days was to eat, sleep, drink, online, pee, poo, poker, tv and sleep.




Now I'm panic. Really panic. No joke.





I would really wish to start studying immediately but I'm feeling sleepy. Also, I'm currently waiting for the new episode in AOD to be aired. The movie starts at 9.30 p.m.


I should go catch some sleep for now. :D

Dprssd.

I can't smile. In fact, I don't see the point of smiling right now. I feel more like breaking down, but then I don't see the point again. I feel like screaming, but I'm already doing so from the inside. I just want to release my emotions but nothing's working.

I thought blogging would do me some help. Unfortunately, the moment i clicked on new post, I can't seem to type my feelings out anymore. I feel so locked up inside. I know what exactly I'm upset at but I don't wish to tell. It's either because I am starting to realise that how public a blog can be or I'm just afraid of people reading my mind these days.

Sometimes, I think I'm going to be one of those depressed souls who will be having mental disorder at the end of their lives.




What the fuck is wrong with me?

I'm going to screw tomorrow's paper.

Nights.

I feel so outta place and nothing seems right to me these days. It's aching at places that do not exist physically. The unbearable pain made me stay awake for hours and then, I'd cry myself to sleep. Screw emotions, seriously.


I'm not okay.

The world's changing. If only things always go the way I want it to.

Unfortunately,

shit happens.

I want to stop thinking, stop breaking down in the middle of night, stop staring blankly at the ceiling, stop everything that I've done after all this while.

But nobody knows, nobody.

I'm unhappy right now and it's 3.30 in the morning.

:(


I miss everyone.

OMG lahhh!!!! Finals is in less than 12 hours time shiiiiiiiiiitttttt. *screamsss*

...And this is my first real exam in college! ;o

* faints *

Okay I was just being a little too dramatic about being nervous but I AM nervous okay. Pfft. >.<



I will need tons of luck. T_______T


Goodnight everyone.

I'm So Funny.

I washed the clothes without putting the detergent into the detergent box. Yay!

I'm so stupid waddahell.

Screwed up brains I have.

This Time Last Week.

I was in the bus, Transnasional bus. On the way to Mersing. Prolly disturbing the gang with Audrey, PYan, WX and Yen Yee by whispering their nicknames from our places. After that, I would glance at the clock and think when will be the time I start to fall asleep. And then, I will be talking to WX the whole journey and at the same time, pursuading him to sleep but he just wouldn't listen because he wants to make sure I sleep before he did.

And that was what happened, this time last week.

Now I'm just plainly sitting in Starbucks, waiting for time to past and reminiscing moments which I know I will never forget. :')


So much for having sweet memories. Le sigh. Bonsoir.

My Life Would Suck Without You.

Back in KL by 1800 hours on Thursday. Been feeling so exhausted and emo at the same time. I am still not used to the fact that I'm back to my own house even though it's cosy. The moment the trip's over, I don't get to see him next to me before I sleep and when I'm awake. I don't get to cuddle with him after being together for so many days. I don't get to see my friends the moment I'm awake. I don't get to talk to them and the only time that I've ever managed to contact them would be through MSN. I don't get to disturb people when they're taking their baths and when I'm having mine. I can't seem to hear any complaints from the friends about me being slow or whatsoever. I don't get to enjoy breakfast on bed with the whole bunch and I don't even get to eat lunch and dinner together with them.

I miss listening to the waves there. I miss the warm sand. I miss their presence. I miss every single minute spent together with the other 9 people. It's so ironic that every single enjoying moment will have to end so fast. It's already Saturday and I still can't stop thinking about it. );

I hate the fact that everyone's going to be studying soon. I hate to think that everyone will be leaving someday and then everyone will be forgotten. I just hate to think people are all going to different paths in another few days time.



Will we all be strangers to each other someday?

Lately.

Been busy with my scholarship application and stuff. Out for a few days without fail and it's tiring. Especially sleeping late at night and waking up early in the morning. With a few hours of sleep, it's difficult to stay wide awake for more than 12 hours. Pfft. Readers please don't die on me. I will update soon once I'm done with my business. T___T

I've been really emo lah. College life is getting nearer and lots of questions are popping into my head without fail. ); I want to continue my emo session now. Today's been a long day. Goodbye.

Sometimes, I feel what I felt months ago.
And I hate this feeling.

Maybe.

You will never be able to see me again after tomorrow.



I may consider burying myself alive and then start choking for oxygen.
I may consider going to KLCC and bungee jump without the equipments
I may consider drowning myself in the swimming pool.
I may consider playing roller coaster because I've never sat on it. Not even once.
I may consider closing the windows and the doors tight just to burn charcoal.
I may consider eating sleeping pills.
I may consider being a vegetarian for a month.
I may consider crying my eyeballs out for a week.
I may consider being even more ignorant than I already am now.
I may consider doing one of the above mentioned after getting the results.



I want to cry just because I'm superduperquadruple nervous for the results. Maybe it's the peer pressure I gotten from each friend of mine. Maybe it's the pressure of getting straight As for my previous government exams and if I don't get straight As this time, I feel stupider. Way stupider.

SPM RESULTS IN LESS THAN 15 HOURS TIME LA!!!

*faints*

On another note, all the best to every ex fifth former. (:

I wish to update this blog but the mood's gone. 12th. 12th. 12th.

SPM results day is freaking the hell outta me.

I want straight As. T_______________T

I'm At Fault.

Thanks for the sweet nothings but I'm truly sorry for the damage done.

I've never denied that I once loved you but things changed and I'm a pretty messed up soul now.

Good luck with your new love.

Still friends, hopefully.

Apologies to Tan Yu Shaun and Low Wai Xiang.

.

.

.

.

I'm sorry for being such a jerk earlier. T___________T

.

.

.

.

When The Throat Itches.

This reminded me of my cheer 08 times. No sufficient rest for me and after the competition, I lost my voice and all of my energy completely. That was one helluvah experience that I don't wish to go through ever again.

But now, I am as sick as I was last time. Coughing non-stop. Luckily I don't need to experience what I experienced last year or I swear I will eat 10 panadols at one shot.



And to whoever who passed the virus to me, screw you for ruining my third day of 2009. -__________-