` Happy Birthday to

Terence Chan Wei Jian!

-

In case you don't know, he's my youngest brother. Although he's in standard 3 now, I still call him baby/by ( pronounced as be ). I guess he'll have to stick to being called like that till I'm bored with it. It's almost impossible for me to start calling him by his name. x]

-

Exams in 13 hours time. Lucks to everyone including the PMR candidates who will be sitting for those miserable papers. ;)

i thought i could.

I can't seem to stop myself from doing so. It's just weird. I keep looking at it occasionally and I thought I could wait till the next day. But no, this is it. The temptation there is irressistible. Even distracting me with chocolates will not help.

Okay, so, I'm a weird freak who is not a fan of chocolates but whatever lar kan? I prefer Sour Skittles and me-oh-my, I'm losing my Skittles pretty much quickly. I left a quarter and that's it. I need more of those to keep me awake so that I can read my new bedtime storybook, and no, I do not mean the book titled 365 Days Bedtime Stories for Teenagers. I meant, My form 4 history textbook.

okay, the tempt of blogging is relieved, finally. Amen. nights people while I shall start reading what Maritim's Government is all about.

` Happy Sweet Sixteen to

Aimee and Charlotte!

you owe me breakfast. ;p hope you both will have a great day! oh. and you know wht? your presents will not be given to you till I've bought them. x]

List of things.

Before exams..

` study.
` blog.
` study.
` stop going online this much.
` study.
` save credit.
` study.
` get enough sleep.

During exam weeks..

` study.
` less blogging.
` study.
` get enough sleep.

During Raya Holidays..

` celebrate birthday in advance with G gang.
` study.
` practise piano.
` study.
` go out.
` study.
` blog.

After exams..

` go for birthday lunch with ' SF.
` start playing dota.
` learn how to rollerskate.
` go ice-skating.
` go out with friends.
` blog.


The conclusion is that I will need to study an awful lot before I can truly enjoy the after-exam moments. *sighs dramatically* screw exam stress.

kuiz pelancongan.

I procrastinated again and therefore, this post is only up today. Was out of school compound at 8 a.m. to wait for the van and it reached only at 9.30 a.m. The school was all the way in Jalan Ipoh and we were supposed to reach before 10 a.m. What's worse was we couldn't seem to find our way to the school and when we finally found it, we were already late for 35 minutes.

Thank goodness we were given the opportunity to do the quiz. 60 objective questions and I swear, more than half of the paper's answers were chosen blindly. Some pure idiots on the left kept disturbing Charlotte and I but this time, Charlotte flared her temper at them instead of me doing so. Thanks again woman. xD Situation was something like this..

Malay Guy 1 to Charlotte: Eh, Ah moi.. *asks dumb questions*

Charlotte ignored..

M.G. 1 to Charlotte again : Leng lui leng lui.. Ah moi aaa.

Ignored again..

Malay Guy 2 to me : Eh leng lui.. Ah moi..

This time, I ignored..

Charlotte : Can you shut up a?

Both malay guys shut up.

Sbuians were laughing, so were the row of people on the right.

M.G. 2 to M.G. 1 : Eh, soalan ini jawapan apa?

M.G. 1 to M.G. 2 : Can you shut up?

And.. we laughed again. xD

During the quiz, it was complete silence. So you can imagine, my dear kindergarten mate actually said it quite loudly and clearly that the malay guys actually shut up for the rest of the remaining time. You go girl! ;]

Below are the pictures taken while waiting for the van..

my weird best friend ; deskmates.
friends since standard 1.
kindergarten mates.

she got traumatized while waiting for the van.

and suddenly burst out laughing. xD

In the van..

tunnel picture #1.

the weird and the stupid again.

tunnel picture #2.

finally, our group picture. x]

By the way.. Thanks Terence for the mooncakes! :D Didn't expect you to send me some though. x]

i'm no banana. :)

when you break up.

Don't ask why,
cause in the end,
you'll still end up going separate ways.

Don't bother talking things out,

cause in the end,

the problems will remain the way they are.

Don't ask if he still loves you,
cause at that point of time,
he doesn't love you anymore.

Don't ask if he remembers all the memories,

cause all he'll answer you is,

he wants the happiness in future, not the past.

Don't cry in front of him,

cause he'll know that,

you're weak and thinks you can't live without him.

Don't say that you still love him,

cause at the end of the day,

you're just another girl to him.

found something like this in Chinese words, and therefore, translated it in English.

Pat Yuet Sap Mm.

First of all,

` Happy Mooncake Festival!

Started eating mooncakes since last week. I had the Jelly Mooncakes, Snow Skins and even the traditional ones. And Zewei just said that i'm getting fatter. -.- I like la. pfft. xD The moon is soooooo round today. And somehow, I see dark shades on its surface. Wonder if it's Chang Er and the rabbit. I know I daydream too much but I can't help it. x] Anyway, I somehow think this year's celebration compared to the previous ones is nothing. I did not play with candles this year even though I don't dare to light a match up or even use the lighter cause I'm a chicken.

enjoy your night. ;)

exams.

I actually forgot to post about exams. Which is starting next week. Yet, I have yet to study again. Although my marks was ridiculously retarded for the assessment 2, but I still have no motivation to study because I'm a lazy bump wtf.

I suddenly feel like I've lost my sense of studying. I'm not saying that I was a nerd or whatever, but everytime when it's exams season, I would be studying for at least 30 minutes. But this time, I did not even touch a single book. Maybe cause I had a boyfriend at that time and therefore, I feel the urge of studying and even if I did not have the mood to study, he will make me study. Cis, I gotta stop depending on people and start to be independent. I wonder how am I going to survive throughout form 5 when I'm partially dying in form 4.

Mooncake Festival is tomorrow. I crave for Snow Skin Mooncakes. I'm turning into a blog addict. I have the urge of blogging every now and then. I really better start studying or you'll see me in my funeral soon wtf.

okay, nights.

` Happy Sweet Sixteen to Natalie Choo Chyng Chyng!

` Happy Sweet Sixteen to Audrey!

-

Huey Shan, Aileen, Charlotte and I are going for Kuiz Pelancongan tomorrow. So, wish us luck. x]

kthnksbye.

I used to get phone calls and short messages..
I used to think forever exists..
I used to think that without you by my side,
I would not be able to live for even a second..

Yes, I'm that naive.

not anymore.

things like these have made me realised..

I have lost myself once..

and now..

I do not want to lose myself for the second time.

tagged #6.

Tagged by Aileen, who slept at 6 p.m., woke up at 3 a.m., and did this pointless tag at 4 a.m.

Seven things to be done before my death.
1. Travel around the whole world
2. Eat different kinds of food
3. Get all my wishes come true
4. Make sure I have enough money for the funeral xD
5. Hug all the people that I know and tell them how much I love them
6. Shopping!
7. Get the jobs that I have always wanted

Seven things I will NOT do even if it kills me.
1. Killing animals
2. Lose contact with my family and friends
3. Stealing/ Shoplifting/ Robbing
4. Give my dog away to anyone
5. Killing humans x]
6. Become a lala
7. Change myself for a guy

Seven things I do when I'm away from the public.
1. Shower
2. Pee and Poo
3. Drift my mind away to something else
4. Cry myself to sleep
5. Turn into a couch potato
6. Play online games
7. Sleep till noon (once in a blue moon) :p

Seven fav sentences/quotes.
1. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
2. Are you serious?
3. Don't be funny
4. You're lame
5. I'm hot stuff :)
6. It's fatteningggg!
7. FOOOOOOOODDDDDDD!

Seven favourite songs from all time.
1. Walk Away - Paula Deanda Ft. The Dey
2. Friends Forever - Vitamin C
3. 梁山伯与朱丽叶 - 曹格&卓文宣
4. My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne
5. First Love - Utada Hikaru
6. Kenangan Terindah - Samsons
7. Because I'm A Girl - Kiss

Seven things I'll make you wish you didn't do if you did.
1. Rape any of my beloveds and me xD
2. Steal anything/ anyone precious away from me
3. Steal my dog
4. Hurt my friends and family
5. Outsmart me
6. Send nasty rumours about me. :)
7. Flirts with my guy ( you will not wanna know what I'm capable of ) =]

Seven people to tag.
1. Huey Shan
2. Mei Li
3. Pui Yan
4. Jun Kiat
5. Hon Weng
6. Wai Kian
7. Cassidy

this post is supposed to be under 1st of June 07. But since, SOMEBODY is jealous cause the cousin got a post for the birthday wish and he didn't, therefore.. here it is. xD

` Happy Belated 16th Birthday

Cassidy Tan Fu-Shen!

By the way, I know you only after your birthday, so you can't blame me for not wishing you on that day itself you know. :p there, eliminate all your jealousy now! xD

` Happy 16th Birthday

Chiang Zewei!

I'm sooooo sorry for er, not realising today it's your birthday. xD I didn't even know, till like moments ago. Anyway, hope you had a great celebration today. :)

a year ago.

I should be studying at this time for my PMR. After that, I would call just to hear his voice and we will end up talking for the rest of the night.

-

Right now, I ain't doing the same thing. PMR is already over, so is the relationship. No, I'm not here to start feeding my precious blog with another emo post, but I'm just pressing the rewind button, all the way back to a year ago, to show you pictures of my puppy.

-

He is the one which has been letting me to talk to him when I'm bored, upset and even hyper. I love him very much and whoever that dares to steal him away will become impotent. :) Fortunately, this won't happen even if it sounds evil cause my fat dog is very safe at home. xD

Sparkie posing for the pictures when he first join the clan. A camwhore, just like me. xD

and these, are pictures of me with my baby pup. <3

he's fat but i still love him to bits. I'm lucky to have him as part of my family. (;

i love this entry.

Dear seafood girls,

I must say, you have very unique ways of wearing your clothes. They look so ah-dorable as though they are bought from the Rubbishdump shop. Or perhaps, bits and pieces of clothes sewn together to form an ultimate piece of shirt. Ahh, not forgetting, you people who dress like that must work as a clown or a joker in the future for I, once, saw one of your species actually wore different colour of shoes and socks for both legs and couldn't stop myself from laughing for the 10 whole minutes. There, you have your career planned ahead of you. :)

Anyhoos, in friendster or I bet even myspace, it seems that your community has already expanded too fast. So, how do you guys actually spread your love for this trend on the Net? Perhaps, someday, you can teach me so that I can spread another trend which has got nothing to do with your trend. By the way, you guys have a million people of friends and my amount of friends compared to yours in friendster or myspace is nothing. And what's more, mostly are guys. You must have had magnets to attract them.

And those kawaii pictures of you people, It's soooo cute, with all kinda different poses which vary from 1 finger to 10 fingers. Creative humans, you are. Oh, and you have really good photography skills. Taking pictures of your own from very nice angles which will make your eyes look bigger than usual. Now, although I have naturally big eyes, I would really love to learn that art of photography from one of you one day.

Speaking of creativity, every single one of you seem to have your own special words. For instance, EuU instead of you and mIi instead of me. Are any of you planning to publish a dictionary someday? It might do some good to the people around the world you know so that they know those words from your dictionary can't be used in examinations. Besides, lending a helping hand will not damage your already-oh-so-wow profile.

Finally, your committee is totally the most well-behaved people. Being so extra friendly to the male species especially. You see, I envy you people who get 80 testimonials a day and 90% of them are from the guy friends of you people. While mine, is just too much of a sad case. Now, if only I can be as sociable to guys as you people, I may not have only ONE account in friendster till now.

All these praises come from the bottom of my heart, nights. :)

text messages.

On the 10th of Sept. 07, Huey Shan and I smsed each other and start daydreaming. It was actually something to do with camwhoring everyday and our dear chemistry teacher. x]

Me : if only we can camwhore everyday. lol.

Huey : yeah. imagine if we camwhore during Chemistry.

Me : the next thing you hear is, ' Huey shan, why're you taking pictures with the stupid girl who got low marks for my chem test? ' and i'll hear, ' Pui ying, if you're so free to take pictures, why don't you start revising your chem now? ' and she smiles evilly. lol.

Huey : Lol! then, i will tell her : because teacher, dear.. you're old and look horrible in photos. We, however, look more pretty-ful. than you. XD

Me : LOL. and i'll tell her.. you see teacher, i'm more photogenic than you are.. And besides, who knows i'll be one of the famous ppl and of course, successful without the horrible chem. XD

Huey : And even though it is chem that creates my make up, i still look better without it! That will show her!

Me : And then, she'll bow to us and say.. Oh, my girls. They're FINALLY smart. Now, outsmarting me is illegal.. Therefore, come see me in the discipline room to get your pink slips.

Huey : Nice one! But we'll answer : Teacher, we are protected by the canadian law that says camwhores are not elligible for BSLs. You will now be trialed for child abuse.

Me : Lol. Woman. That's a nicer one. And when she says, you're in malaysia now. We shall reply, ' We're going to be in Canada soon. Very soon. XD '

Huey : And then we're gonna meet with the Nazis ; we're sekutu with them you see, teacher. And they don't like hearing about sad, bad things. Oh no, they don't teacher. They don't. XD

Me : She'll start freaking out and then beg for mercy. We'll say. You can always give us and A1 if you want to be in a safe situation. XD

Huey : Hehe! Only an A1, cher? That's not how the Nazis speak. Throw in your house and we MIGHT reach a deal.

this is what happens when the weird and the stupid gets hyped up. ;)

by the way..

i am originally from Bukit Bintang Girls School and then shifted to SK Seri Bintang Utara which means, I am not from a Chinese school..

BUT..

This doesn't mean I am a banana. I do know how to speak, write and read Chinese words.

envy me. (:

see me fall.

This heart of mine,
Can take no more pain,
This soul of mine,
Is breaking apart again.

A good laugh can stop tears from falling,
But inside, it's still raining,
A good cry can make me feel better,
But dreams, remain shattered.

I sit on the sofa,
Daydreaming about you,
It didn't go too far,
For I realise, it'll not come true.

I watch my heart break,
Into a million pieces,
I know this is fate,
Which is what I fear.

Too busy staying strong,
It makes me different now,
I don't know if all will last long,
Cause I'm still fragile.

Once again, I see myself fall,
Into the same old place,
Where things don't happen anymore,
where memories can't be replaced.

by me. copyrighted. (:

yesterday, today and tomorrow.

I totally forgot to post about this yesterday but right now, I do remember what i'm supposed to post. When it was going to be EST..

Me : ohhh. great. the teacher's here.

Huey : You can always put some oil and make her slip and break her back.

Me : *stares at her for a sec* Shan, do you know that she's pregnant?

Huey : Oh fuck. *with a loud voice*

My main point is, this best friend of mine has never cursed this year, well, not till yesterday. And I laughed like a nutto for no reason when she said that word. xD to people who know her, they'll definitely do not believe that Huey Shan actually cursed. all and all, she's still the same ol' weird woman. x]

& today, camwhoring session at the skylite. We were "rehearsing" for some traditional games thingy as there will be around 24 Australians who will be coming to our school tomorrow. I'm the head for the Batu Seremban game, which means I will have to explain the history, the rules, the way to play it and yadah yadah to them. I totally had no idea that I was supposed to do so till today. -.- And I just remembered that I gotta find the info about this game a few minutes ago. Talk about short term memory loss.

After school, went for Ed Board interview. It all went well I guess but then, still not too sure about it. Just hope that I'll be accepted by the Photography dept. :) And thank goodness all the three interviews are over. Lucks to those who have yet to finish their interviews, especially to mei li, michelle, hui ning, tien chuen, philip and alvin. :D By the way, Philip actually STUDIED for the interview. o.o

As for tomorrow, the Australians are coming at 9ish if i'm not mistaken, so wish me luck in explaining the art of Batu Seremban. I shall reveal the photos now. (;

this is the top that i've posted in one of my previous entries. x]
our FASCINATING bottles. xD

favourite colors. <3

normah wannabes. xD

i damn shuka this picture. :)

charlotte and i.

we do look stupid, shut up. xD

the lame woman. xD

this is the treasurer of the prefectorial board.

charlotte syok sendiri. xD

and when she's not looking..

i joined in. xD
some Alphaian girls.

and again.

we are all posers. :D

the camwhores.

hui ning and audrey couldn't resist the tempt of being included in the picture. xD

jasmine chan see whey, the junior i syg. :)

our very kind hearted teacher let us stay for another two periods at the skylite.

picture of the day. xD

i gotta find for info now as i'm spending too much time procrastinating again kthnksbyenights.

walk away.

I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me
I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me

You gonna remember me boo
I'm gonna remember you too
I can't forget all the crazy shhh.. we used to do
You was doing too much
I wasn't doing enough
That's what your friends are saying
You got a man anyway
I can't explain it neither
I ain't never wanna leave ya
Hell ya its hard to walk away when I see ya
When I see ya I remember the day
You put your shoes on and moved on
Before I could say

I saw you with your new girl just yesterday
And I feel that I must confess
Even though it kills me to have to say
I'll admit that I was impressed
Physically just short of perfection
Gotta comment you on your selection
Though I know I shouldn't be concerned
In the back of my mind
I can't help but question
Does she rub your feet
When you've had a long day
Scratch your scalp
When you take out your braids
Does she know that you like to
Play PS2 till 6 in the morning
Like I do

I can't explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
And even though we've moved on
It gets so hard to walk away
(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)
Walk Away, Walk Away
(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)

I can't forget how we used to be
Our life from day to day
Hoping maybe you'll come back
And though I tell myself not to be afraid
To move on but it seems I can't
Though a new man has given me attention
It ain't the same as your affection
Though I know I should be content
In the back of my mind
I can't help but question
Does he kiss me on the forehead
Before we play
Show up on my doorstep
(with a bouquet)
Does he call me in the middle of the day
Just to say hey baby I love you
Like you used to

I can't explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
And even though we've moved on
It gets so hard to walk away
(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)
Walk Away, Walk Away
(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)

I'm Gonna Remember You
You're Gonna Remember Me
The things we did
The way we shared our fantasies
Just you and me
My friend, my love, my family
How did we lose a love that seemed meant to be
Sometimes I kiss her and wish that it was you I'm kissing
Sometimes I miss him and wish that it was you I'm missing
Sometimes I hug her and wish that it was you I was hugging
And I realize how much I'm bugging
I miss you

Walk Away, Walk Away

(I'm Gonna Remember You
Your Gonna Remember Me)

So hard to express this feeling
Cause nobody compares to you
And you know she'll never love you like I do

I can't explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
And even though we've moved on
It gets so hard to walk away

(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)

Walk Away, Walk Away

Remember You

(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)

(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)

... and this, is how i feel..

12 a.m. and here I am, in front of the computer, blogging again. Feeling afraid to off the lights for I know, the moment they're turned off, my eyes will be flowing unstoppable tears.

Crying myself to sleep is turning into a habit soon. I read what I'm not supposed to again and the ache somewhere deep inside is unbearable. It's a deep cut that no one can cure, but me. For once, please stop aching..

Because of you, I have had enough of misery and it's so unfair. I'm here suffering all by myself and I bet that you're probably sleeping soundly under the blanket without a single thought how much hurt you've done to me. fuck everything. I need to sleep and concentrate on my studies dammit.

nights.

hard time.

I see that you've moved on, while i'm still at square one, thinking this is not the end yet. Maybe I was right all the while, too much of a big dreamer, having trust in you too easily. Now, i fell into the dark hole once again and this time, i know i have to pull myself out of that cold place to set me free.

I've just gotten my practical exam marks, i passed with a mere mark of 113. I used to be overjoyed when I've got a pass for it, but now, i can't even smile. Not because I ain't contented, but the thoughts of you and your new girl keeps coming into my mind. Do you even remember this girl who has loved you too much and was hurt by you silently?

I was this close to breaking down into tears but everytime I just have to remind myself, it's not the end of the world so be strong. I don't know how long will I be able to handle all these by myself. The feelings bottled up inside are already let out yesterday night, when I read your sweet nothings, And now, it's all coming back, the same old feeling where I have the urge to start cutting, to start skipping meals and to fake all the laughter.

In times like this, I really wish my friends are here now, to hug me and tell me that I'll be alright. But, I do know that I've burden them too much and I'm truly sorry. I know it takes time to get over him, but no matter how hard i tried, he's still there, right at the back of my mind. It ain't easy, to let you go, even if I told my friends so. Those 19 months of ups and downs, remain a memory, a deep cut, an unhealed wound.

I don't know how to go on living my own life without even thinking of you right now. You may be laughing at me for being devastated and depressed because of you, but someday, you'll go through the same phase when you finally lose the one you've put too much feelings on. No, it ain't a curse but this is reality, a place where you know love may hurt you anytime without a warning and yet, you can't stop falling for it.

Dear blog,
I know i've been feeding you with too many emo phases, but i can only trust you because you're the only one that listens to all the rantings and will never feel burden to do so. If there's someday that I got over him completely, maybe emo phases will disappear, just maybe..

it's a habit.

I'm turning into some creature that stays up late at night and sleeps during the day. a bat, no? okay, i admit that i'm stupid so don't remind me. :)

On friday night, went karaoke with uncle and aunt till 4ish, reached home at 5 and fainted in bed till 1 p.m. the next day. Saturday night, i did not sleep till it's 3 in the morning and woke up at 11 a.m.

And now, I am wide awake. It's already 1 a.m. and I'm suppose to wake up at 6 a.m. for school. damn insomnia. i shall try to lie on my bed, close my eyes and start dreaming till the time i'm suppose to be awake.

nights everybody.

100th post.

I can't believe that i've blogged this much. well, compared to my old blog, this is a lot okay? i'm feeling extremely proud of my blog. :D

Since it's the 100th post, i shall put more pictures of me camwhoring with ` SF and other friends in school. Thus, I shall warn you, again, about the many faces of my friends and i. ;)

alas, our very first ` SF picture of the year.

nerdified vs lala-fied. :p

my favorita #1.

focused on our eyes. o.o

my favorita #2.

before add maths.

during add maths. xD
the many pencil cases of ` SF.
posers. x]

window shot taken by yours truly. :)

superwomen caught in the act. x]

my favorita #3.

window shot by huey shan, spoiled by me.

audrey's amazed that i can fit into the locker. xD

and i was amazed that huey shan can fit into it as well.

what does this remind you of? :D

behind the bars with audrey and anis.

thought that i did not spoil the picture?

think again. x]

my favorita #4.

according to one of them, we looked like a flower. :D

my favorita #5.

my favorita #6.

the mom was searching for two naughty girls.

spoiled by me again.

my favorita #7.

dance, like nobody's watching. (;

doctors at work. xD

so are the bullies.

begging for mercy. x]

bitchy faces. :x

and again, bully acts are strictly disallowed. so do not learn from us. ;)

it ain't a saturday night fever, but a monday afternoon fever. x]

jump shot 1.

about to jump..

and here it is, jump shot 2.

the third jump shot. :D

and someday, we will do it again. (;

where were the pictures taken? : in 4 Sc. Alpha and 4 Sc. Lambda.
when were the pictures taken? : During English, when there was no teacher and we were observed by some people. Also, during moral, where huey shan and i got out of class quietly and camwhored with ` SF in Lambda. we're lucky people for not getting caught by the teachers. :p

p.s. kids shall not play truant for it may result you in major heart attacks, unwanted attention and even Borang Salah Laku aka BSLs. ;D