Four Sundays to Go.

In a blink of an eye, it's my turn to fly away from Malaysia soon. After all these years, all the hard work will be paid off. The only thing I worry most now is my Masters application. What if something goes wrong and I can't do my Masters this year? So much to worry, yet, I can't do anything till my results are out.

And by the time I stop worrying is when I am already there, hopefully. A lot of things are still going in my mind. How I wish they can all just stop here. There are just too many people that are hard for me to let go but for a better future, this is the price to pay. Maybe I shouldn't have made this decision from the start but it's all too late now.

All I can do is to hope for the best. Sigh. Till then.

R.I.P. to Madam Irene Ong

I've just came across the article related to the late Madam Irene Ong, a brave mother who saved her own daughter and got stabbed by the inhumane idiots. The post hit me hard and as I read on, I teared. All they did was to have some family time but the tragedy happened. They have lost her forever just because of the lousy security in Malaysia. The heartless people who have attacked her needs to be sentenced to death.

Didn't it ever occur to them that every crime they have committed will reflect to their family? What has happened to the society? Don't have money for food, work for it, not by trying to rob someone else's hard earned money. We are after all, only humans. We should have equal rights to survive the world legally. We should be given a chance to live in a safer environment.

Life is just so fragile. The tragic incident has made me realized that anything can happen to anyone anywhere at anytime. It doesn't matter if you're young or old, woman or man, you may be the next victim. Stay safe people, be alert at all times. That is the least we can do seeing how unsafe Malaysia is now.

As for the victim, Hui Wei, you may not be reading this but I'm truly sorry for your loss and I hope justice will be served to those who deserve it soon. Stay strong.

Unsure.

On a night like this, my mind tends to play a little more tricks than usual. I'm not sure of many things. I'm not sure if this is what I really want or it's all temporary. I'm not sure what will happen or could have happened. I'm not sure how it works or if it will ever work. Sometimes, I just wish my mind doesn't exhaust me this much. I wish this feeling can be wiped off instead of lingering around without a stop button.

There are so many things that I wish I could say but it's not safe no matter here or elsewhere. I don't expect people looking into my inner emotions, in fact, I hope nobody knows what my thoughts are. It's tiring to keep things to myself, to lock them down deep inside me. But, what if once they are exposed to the damned truth, what would they think about me? Would they be really judgmental or supportive?

For all that I know now, there is no turning back. There shall be no regrets to whatever I've decided on. I can only choose to move forward, lead the current life as how it should be. I need to stop being fickle-minded. I need to learn that some things don't go the way you wish they did. I need to learn how to manage my emotions and to know what is right for me.

Now all that I pray is that someday, it will all pay off.

Feelings.

Oh cool. I can now blog using the iPad. Wonder if blogging about my life will be back in action soon. Gone were the days where I blog everyday. :(

Life has been pretty dull. Things with me and the bf have been going quite well so far. :D I'm one happy person, except the fact that I'll be flying to UK soon for my studies. But it's okay. Things will work out, I know they will. I have faith in this. :)

Just the other day I dreamt about me being in UK and I couldn't contact him at all. Woke up feeling bad but he said that it won't happen. Makes me feel a lot better.

Not just the bf, but the heart feels heavy whenever I think about leaving my family and friends here. Not sure when will I be back from UK. Future seems a little uncertain right now. Sigh. Still, I hope I can get a job there for a better living. Hopefully everything will go well. :)

Yesterday night had a conversation with the unbiological sister, Pui Yan. It's so nice to be able to talk about our pasts and laughed at them. Memories always make me smile. Even the most painful ones can do the trick. Heh.

Random thoughts : Would it be painful to not remember anything at all someday no matter how hard you try to recall? What if everything that I have now vanishes out of a sudden?

Words Cut, Paper Heart.

Thought something minor like this shouldn't have hurt, but still it did. It wasn't entirely your fault, it just brought back some unwanted feelings that I used to go through for the past few years. And after almost a year, I heard something similar again. No doubt, I was a little down. I'm glad you made the effort to explain twice. :)

To me, you're different. I'm glad I made this choice. :)