call me fierce and i'll skin you alive.

Went to school today for various reasons ;

` need to get my dress back from huey,
` the UBS interview,
` exam papers,
` and to avoid from being stuck at home.

I ain't the person who can stay at home for no reason these days. Don't ask why cause I don't know the answer myself. Perhaps I'm turning into some hyper moron and not a couch potato anymore. If that's so, it's good news. At least I won't stick to the comfy sofas now eating chips to expand the size of my butt.

I screwed my Bio and Chem, big deal. Wait till my Physics papers are back, I will stab all three of you a million times. On the other hand, it's certified that I need a job a.s.a.p. to get money. Without money, no tuition for next year. If I don't go for tuition next year, I can fail my SPM. And when I do fail it, I will need to be part of the DBKL community. No, I do not mean being the first female manager of DBKL, more like the first vain DBKL worker who have finely-manicured fingernails and make up on while sweeping at the streets. I can't imagine myself if I ever need to sweep the streets.

About the interview, it was alright. Aat least we made one person cried and another one who nearly cried. Ebe and the batch, we are just as qualified as you are. teehee. I was joking about being qualified or not. It's just that somehow, we gotta test them to see if they have they can handle pressure or not as being a PRS ain't easy. And to those who were trying to use UBS just to prove that you can be in the unit like the others, you're wrong. I'm pretty sure that we've made ourselves clear enough to you. Therefore, manipulating UBS means challenging the board and you guys wouldn't wanna mess with Aileen. Oh no, you don't. :)

And I've finally gotten back my dress from deskmate. Thanks woman! ;D Enjoy your trip and have a safe flight aytes? Somebody will be skipping school next week and won't even be in K.L. *stares at huey shan* xD We gotta meet up with the other two ' SFs soon kayh? ;) By the way, I wonder if you remember the existence of Add Maths Project. It's important for next year. x]

diverged into two.

Didn't go to school today 'cause dad's legs were aching. He couldn't fetch us, so yeah, we gotta stay at home.

Am so sorry Aileen dear for not attending school. Don't come killing me tomorrow. ); And Huey Shan, my dress! :D

Mom gave me a chance to either straighten my hair or curl it back again and I've no idea which should I pick. I'm friggin' worried that I don't look fine with straight hair anymore. I'm a certified big time paranoid worrier. -.- Add maths project is not finished, only managed to do the introduction. Seems like the deadline is tomorrow, shall reconfirm with other classmates.

For the first time, I wish my computer dies. *sighs*

boredom doesn't kill ; it tortures.

Was in Pavilion from 1 till 9.30 p.m. yesterday. After scouting around for jobs ALONE cause everyone keeps going to s.wang and ts, went for a walk-in interview in Miss Whatever. Everything's good, but the working time kills. 10 am - 10 pm everyday can go die. and they only give a 30-minute break each in the noon and evening. The manager didn't look that friendly as well. Ended up stoning at AsterSpring's Kiosk. Sat there for hours doing nothing except for text messaging. -.-

I shall give this job up. Goodbye pretty handbags and pink stuff. *sighs dramatically*





Meanwhile,

Pui Yan! I am going to job-hunt next weds/fri/sat. Come with meeee! :D Okay, I got to start my Add Maths project now.

Wish me luck.

job scouting.

Going to scout around for jobs tomorrow in Pavilion. That place is like super full with job opportunities. IF anyone happens to be there tomorrow as well, sms me! Preferably, a girl as I'm going to be the only girl tomorrow dammit. T_________T Wish me luck. Don't be like Kah Hoong, keep cutting the stim and the spirit. cissss. xD

Should be there till 5ish in case I can't get a job in 3 hours time. -.- And itu Wai Kian thinks that I won't be able to get a job till 10 something at night. What if the both of them are right? Maybe I will not be hired. -.- Gah! Whatever.

Thank you everyone to those who keep trying to make me lose my confidence. Very the dai sek - NOT. ;(

Nights.

tell me the truth, not lie.

There are times when I wonder who I am to you now. I keep trying to figure out the answer but it has never worked. Well, maybe once. But that's it. It is not easy being sandwiched in between two people. I know it's the same to you, but you're the only one who can make a decision, not me nor her.

I ain't as brave as her. I have no guts to tell you how I truly feel. I wish I have half her bravery and that would be enough. You leave me with unwanted thoughts, thoughts that I never want to have. It's as though ever since that day, you've stopped talking to me. I am not asking for anything, but I hope you would tell me what you feel.

I don't wanna suffer in this kinda situation. I want to cry badly, but not a tear can fall from my eyes these days. It's been months since I've last cried and I don't know when I can be that weak girl I used to again. Being tough is tiring, really. Sometimes, I really hope I can depend on you. But I do know, depending on myself is more realistic.

And now, I did not fall for your retarded acts, your silly faces or even your thoughtful ideas. I just fall for you, plainly you and I've no idea why. Thanks for putting me into misery and doubts. Dont leave me hanging here with no directions for I do not know how long I can stand in this situation.

I hope you read this.

I screwed my English paper. dammit.