Green-Eyed.

It's been quite some time since I've blogged and honestly, I wanted to resume my blogging with a happier post but I can't betray my feelings right now. Once again, I'm awake thinking what's going on as things happened too fast. Did you once use me for the sake of something else or was it real at that time? I want the answers but seems like day by day, the answer you gave me was just nothing but another string of words so that I can be manipulated.

I don't mind being used by people, really. I can just shut up, do what I'm told to and move on with my life. Those words seem so real and I fell for it. Yet, everything seems to be fading at the same time too. I fucking mind when you are the one who took me for granted. I just hate it so much when it's you who chuck me aside when you don't need me. And it's because I fucking care.

I must admit that I am too used to your presence and once it's gone, it just doesn't feel right. Maybe I'm finally clear with what I want but it seems to be a little too late. Why does it feel like I'm about to lose you any second from now on? Is it just me or things are changing for real - again?

I just wish you will realise what do I really feel. It hurts too much, seriously.