The Other Side.

I used to think that whenever somebody cries, there will be people to tell you to stop doing so because everything will be fine. There is at least one person who would ask what's wrong. You will then feel better after talking to that particular person. The ones who cry in public are people who do not use their brains. All they would ever do will be sitting there, letting the tears flow and wishing so hard that everything will be solved by just plainly, tearing. After the tears, all you would ever get are a pair of swollen eyes and a Rudolph's nose.

To me, crying is a sign of weakness. It signifies someone who cannot handle themselves well enough. For example, babies. They cry when they're hungry, they cry when they wet their pants and they even cry just because they don't like that somebody to hold them in their arms. Pathetic, I would say. To those who cry just because of some heartbreaking scenes from a movie, I think that individual doesn't know how to control their feelings. Not only that, the individual has got issues with differentiating between movies and the real world.

Crying are only for attention seekers, weak humans and people who have got nothing better to do than crying for some stupid movies with the melancholic element there. If I've offended anyone out there who've been crying so much, I'm sorry. On the other hand, do let me continue because it's not the end.

I was wrong about this action. It is not a way to seek for attention because when it happens, it just does without any warnings. It is not a sign of weakness. It's a way to express yourself whether you're unhappy, heartbroken or dissatisfied. The ones who have not been hiding themselves from everyone just to cry, I salute you. You had the courage to just pour your tears out without having the fear of feeling embarrassed. It is not for weaklings but for every single living thing because everyone is borned with it.

And because I was, all the while, thinking that crying is equivalent to weak, I had built barriers around me so that I won't be hurt by words or actions easily. I stopped myself from crying everytime something unfortunate happens. I forced the tears to flow back into my eyes when it's already on it's way to flowing downwards instead. I have made myself to not cry in front of anybody at all.

Now, 9o percent of the times when I needed to let my feelings out most, I've succeeded in stopping myself from tearing. Unfortunately, I am not happy. This situation has been going on for too long. I've almost forgotten how it felt like to cry your heart out. Even if I do tear up, it is only a droplet or two. I've turn myself into someone who tries so hard just to get her life right instead of crying though I would like to think this is a form of toughness.

I've gone so far to make myself so tough. But now, I rather give up on the toughness to gain the courage to tear again. I've lost the ability to let my feelings out in a different way. I rather give up in being tough, be the sensitive person I used to be. I rather stop thinking on how to fix things just to fucking cry.








I rather be a weakling I used to be than being someone who's only able to cry silently because I'm so tired of everything. Everything.