Decisions.

I have always thought that making decisions is easy. The answer can be just a firm yes or no. But this year, everything's different. I can't seem to give an answer to all my doubts. Not a single one. It is just plain weird to see myself being unsure at all times. It sucks, really.

What's more difficult is to let go of something you've been holding on for so long. I see them happily together but behind all the smiles, there are still uncertainties among them. Then, I see myself again. We're only friends, just friends. Why bother grasping so tightly when I know I should have given up already?

Same goes to you. It's just weird that you're different when there's only us. I told you how I really felt after all those dramas we used to have. I was convinced that telling you things won't do me any harm. But then, once everything's over, we're back to our own lives. At that point of time, I would start being paranoid. The What If-s would haunt me and then, I will have a slight regret of spilling them out.

Why are there still Maybe-s and I Don't Know-s there when I've made my decision? Is it that difficult to keep my words to myself? I wish it's easy to convince myself to do what's in my mind. I really do.

I wish I wouldn't have cared so much from the start.

Because at the end of the day, nobody gets hurt but me.