Three Zero Zero.

When I finally had the courage, I was being let down. So, tell me. How to build the confidence once again? It's never easy for me to do something extraordinary like that because I don't put my ego down easily. The female mindset whereby some things shouldn't be done by a girl herself. That's what I think and that's where my ego lies.

After the debate between me, myself and I, thought that I should give it a try. In fact, I did but luck didn't side me. Or maybe I was just saying the wrong things at the wrong time. Not like I have not tried messing things up but whatever I do these days, I just screwed them up. Sometimes, I would really want to just sit back, cross my arms and not bother about anything at all.

And then, I would end up giving in to myself and do what I'm supposed to. I tried, I really did. Maybe it was all a mistake from the start. I shouldn't have done anything at all. I should have just ignored what I wanted to do even after all the struggling. I should have chickened out so that I wasn't let down.

I don't blame anyone for this. I was warned indirectly and yet, I still tried, foolishly hoping I could change the situation. Silly, silly me. The pang in the heart is still there though 2 hours is gone. Leave, I beg you.

For now, I will not give myself a second chance. Not till I'm fully recovered. I'm sorry to have a post like this though it's the 300th post since last year..

...But I know I'm gonna be okay.